PaPio Ice Skating in Fukuoka, plus Nana Drinks Weird Stuff For Your Entertainment: Azuki Latte

Our co-worker Brooke had a birthday recently and organized a skating party to celebrate. I'd actually been to PaPio two years ago for a Student Council activity, but I wasn't paying close attention to how to get there, so I hadn't been back since. I'm so glad Brooke rediscovered it, because we had a such a good time that I wonder if there's more skating in our future. The price is reasonable - 1600 yen ($16) for unlimited time, including (lousy but good enough for me) rental skates. The downside is that the ice is gouged and snowy, and on a Sunday afternoon it's like skiing in Korea: you spend more time dodging people than you do actually engaging in the sport. (Side note: I had totally forgotten about that random group of Korean children who imprinted on me and decided to follow me all over the ski resort. The human brain can only hold so much weirdness). 

Speaking of weirdness:

So graceful.

And more weirdness! It's an unstated law of urban Japan that you shall never be further than two minutes from a vending machine. You just take it for granted that if you're walking around and thirsty, a vending machine is just around the corner. Doesn't even matter which corner. They're outside the bottom floors of apartment buildings. They're in parking lots. Even temples have them. Blue buttons indicate cold beverages, while red buttons indicate hot, which might include cans of coffee or hot bottled teas.

PaPio had the standard vending machines, and also ones which make hot beverages by the cup, the sort of machines you see in the US at gas stations or in highway rest stops. I love decaf coffee, but they don't really do that here. I've never seen decaf coffee even at a coffee shop (including Western chains like Starbucks). Therefore my default drink is hot chocolate, which the PaPio vending machine offered. But then I read this button:

I bought this because I knew that "Azuki" (あずき) is Japanese for "red bean," and that therefore the drink was a) something I hadn't tried before and b) not caffeinated. Sometimes I'm so excited to have learned a bit of Japanese that I get overconfident. Yes, I understood that this beverage would have red bean flavor and milk in it, but that's like understanding that the 2-14 Kansas City Chiefs roster features 5 Pro Bowlers. You're not technically wrong, but you're massively missing the point.

Pictured: the wages of hubris

The smell of the Azuki Latte was really terrible, so much so that it took me maybe five minutes to work up the nerve to take a sip. Red beans have a dry, sour sort of smell. It's still in red bean ice cream as the rough-textured taste which underlines the milk and sugar. I tried really hard to convince myself that this latte would taste like melted red bean ice cream, which I actually kind of like.

Unfortunately, no. If you've had the aforementioned rest-stop hot chocolate, you know there's a strong chemical aftertaste, probably caused by the massive quantities of preservatives needed to keep a machine drink from giving you botulism. I drink it anyway because the sweet chocolate front taste overwhelms it enough. Not so with the Azuki Latte. It was like drinking a shot made of expired soy milk with a chaser of liquid laundry detergent. Never again.

Finding English books in Fukuoka, and The Scream

My recent Facebook status, thanks to our Christmas shopping binge, was "Expat joy: a fully restocked English language library." Justin and I went absolutely mad at Half-Price Books, our favorite Midwestern chain in which most books are half cover price, and the clearance section sometimes has blessed blessed $1 bargains (or if you're super lucky, 50 cents, for series romance or vintage sci-fi and mysteries). We had to check an extra bag to get everything back within the weight limit, but fortunately you're still allowed 2 free bags per passenger on trans-Pacifics. Unpacking our haul was bliss.

You have no idea how much books mean to you until your access to them is limited. There are stores in Fukuoka with quite strong English-language selection, at least of recent and award-winning books. Our favorite is Junkudo in Tenjin. But I've probably only bought four books there, because they're so expensive. English mass-market paperbacks are around 1200 yen, or $12 - so even with US book prices climbing, you pay about 150%. I can get three books in the US for the same price, as long as I'm willing to schlep.

I can also get English books at the Fukuoka City Public Library, which I've written about before. They have remarkable English nonfiction (especially on Japanese topics) and solid fiction and even children's book selections.

Still, I'm a pretty voracious reader, as in sometimes two or three books in a weekend alone. At Junkudo prices, that's a habit costing me over $200 a month. It's hard to keep stocked. I've become a big fan of young adult books, which our school library has many of, and which our librarian is really good at ordering on my behalf. Shipments come in once every few months, and it is nerd party time when they do!

In what appears to be a non-sequitur but is actually a brilliant segue, our elementary art teacher is very creative. She had the students paint backdrops from famous artworks, and then photograph themselves into the picture. The pictures of the 3rd grade boy as the Mona Lisa are pretty righteous.

I chose to be photographed in Edvard Munch's The Scream. Then I had to explain why I was screaming. 

Wouldn't you?

Language Laughs

This is the drink I bought at the convenience store yesterday. It literally translates to "Cacao Experience Smile Cocoa."

I did, in fact, experience a smile.

We also learned an awesome new phrase at Japanese class: 一夜漬け, "ichiyazuke" = "one-night pickles." Pickles have to be made long in advance, so they can marinate effectively in the vinegar. But if you get lazy and forget about your vegetables, throwing them into a jar to pickle at the last minute, then they turn out really, really bad. It is quite similar, in fact, to what happens when you don't study for an exam until the night before. So "one-night pickles" is Japanese slang for "last-minute cramming." Awesome!

Home for the Holidays

After three thankfully uneventful flights, Nana and I have arrived at Chez Goff. Total travel time: about 20 hours door to door. One of our shortest transpacific trips yet!

We'll be pretty busy with friends and family, so don't be surprised if you don't hear much from us in the next few days.

Headed Home!

Nana and I are just about to board the first of three flights that, if all goes according to plan, will have us in Pittsburgh for lunch, local time, on Wednesday, October 19. I've said it before and I'll say it again: living in the future can be pretty darn cool.

A morning in the life of a test supervisor.

This is from an email I sent to Justin a bit ago. I supervise standardized tests (like the SAT and ACT) at our school on Saturdays a few times a semester. Some times go more smoothly than others.


Omg let me tell you how unboring my morning was. First I got up in time for the test but lost a bit of time to my stomach feeling a bit off. Then I got ready to go and saw all the bikes blown over by last night's storm, so I picked them all up and got ready to go.

Then I realized my wallet wasn't in my bag and I needed the alarm card to turn off the security system when I opened the building for the test. I went back upstairs to look. No dice. Back downstairs to look in the bag in case I missed it last time. Nope. Back upstairs. Suddenly remembered that I had used my cash to make change for prom committee pizza sales and forgot the wallet in my desk. At school. On the other side of the alarm. Panic. Remembered fellow teacher and downstairs neighbor Corina is an early riser and telephoned. Fortunately she was up studying Japanese and gave me her card. Hero.

Running late but disaster averted! Hopped on my bike. Bike does not go. Lurched sideways off bike. Realized that upon being blown over, chain has slipped off gears. Cannot recall how to put chain back on bike. Bail on bike and try to walk really fast.

Still arrive at reasonable time. See the car belonging to another teacher, supervising a different test, in parking lot and breathe relief - he has let students in to the warm. Building door is locked, but sign-in sheet says alarm is off, and no red lights are on. Unlock door.

ALARM.

Recall that in one building, lights mean "on," but in the other building, lights mean "off." Not helpful. Deactivate alarm and open building. Open second-floor door to the outside, where students are supposed to wait before the test.

No students.

Go looking and find them waiting with other teacher in the other building. Bring them to my building waiting room and go swing by printer to pick up admissions rosters printed yesterday.

Admissions rosters printed wrong. And by "wrong," I mean completely blank.

Turn on workroom computer to reprint. 5 minutes later, workroom computer has not turned on. Desperately turn to staff room computer belonging to after-school teachers. Password locked, do not know their password. Suddenly remember old login, which used to apply to all school computers. Hold breath.

Teacher login ACTIVATE! Reprint using different browser.

ROSTERS ARE GO.

Take rosters. Unlock secure test storage and remove tests. Hustle to testing area to check in students. Start test at 8:10, just ten minutes after usual and well ahead of required 9 AM start time.

Don't smell so good right now.

Planes, Trains, and Automobiles: Dan & Kath Get Around Japan

As my mom and dad found out, I take an aggressive approach to sightseeing. I'm also a bit of a dweeb when it comes to transportation - I love to puzzle out all the different ways to get from A to B. The end result was a ten-day itinerary that included every major form of transportation available in Japan, with the exception of the rickshaw.

• All our airport runs were done by taxi.
• In Fukuoka, we got around using bikes and the subway.
• From Fukuoka to Kuju and Aso and back, we took a rental car. Both toll roads and windy mountain passes were involved.
• From Fukuoka to Nagasaki, we took JR Kyushu's Kamome Limited Express.

A beautiful ride near the Nagasaki end.

• In Nagasaki, we got around by streetcar.

Not really impressive for a yinzer.

• From Nagasaki to Kansai, we flew on Peach, a Japanese budget airline.
• From Kansai to Kyoto, we took JR West's Haruka Limited Express.
• Around Kyoto, we took the Kyoto City Bus, a local JR line, and the Keifuku Electric Railway, a dinky little private streetcar line.
• In Arashiyama, we took a rowboat across the river!

Dan likes putting Kath to work.

Granted, there's also some residual monkey park glee in Dan's face at this moment.
(More on the monkey park later.

• And from Kyoto back to Fukuoka, we took the Nozomi Shinkansen (bullet train).

Oddly enough, the bullet train is the least blurry thing in the picture . . .