Why I'm Trying For This Stupid License One More Time

Talking yourself into giving up on something stupid and frustrating is a skill utterly necessary if you want to live a healthy adult life. For a while, yesterday evening, it seemed I had finally reached a point in my life when I could shrug and walk away from a pointless challenge.

I had even started planning a blog post rationalizing my submission from several different East-Asian philosophical positions.

• Buddhism. My suffering comes from my desire for a driver's license, and oddly enough, all that suffering hasn't made me want that stupid license more.
• Taosim. You don't have a license now, and everything's fine. Best not to do anything.
• Confucianism. You don't respect your superiors, so you probably don't deserve a license anyway.
• Korean mom-ism. You can't get your license without sacrificing sleep, time, money, and happiness in service to a goal you don't particularly care about in the end.
• Animism. The world is probably out to get you.

But this morning, when I woke up well-rested and marginally insane, I decided to give it one more try before calling it quits. My reasons?

• Third time's the charm. My colleague did some extra research and learned that, apparently, the same thing that happened to us has happened to nearly every other American in Fukuoka. First try, they're polite, then they fail you. Second time, they're impolite, fail you, insult you a bit, and mess with your head. For (white) Americans, the third time seems to be the first time you actually stand a chance of passing. So I figure I should give myself one actual shot at this thing before I give up.
• They remembered to return my application yesterday. This relieves me of the trip to JAF to get my license translated again, and makes a significant dent in the cost of another try.
• I need the exercise. Weather's not too bad, either.
• I have absolutely nothing else to do today.

I will promise this, though: I'm done after this. I have enough to fill my days on Wednesday and Thursday with all the preparations that need to be made before I leave the country for two months. After that, I'm not eligible for a license conversion anymore: I have to renew my US license this summer, and I won't have time to drive on it for three months in the US.

Part of me realizes this is absolutely crazy. One sure sign of insanity is doing the same thing again and expecting different results. Judging by the number of red ticks on my scoresheet, I haven't come close to passing, and actually did worse on my second attempt. But at least I'll get a good bike ride out of it, plus another story to tell.